fuck legit lost my hedgehog this time. i let her out in my living room last now and can’t find her anywhere. jeez.
that moment when you find a nice dress but then you try it on and you can’t get it over your chest then it gets stuck on your head n your stuck for about 20 minutes like a penguin.
sold a $60 bong at work today. my first bong sale. whoop whoop. on a sad spectrum tho. my sexy shoes didn’t arrive :(
gained so much weight in the last few months, ahaha. i know the exact reason. comfort eating. i wish i could be one of those people that are happy with being ‘curvy’, i wish i could be confident. but i hate it, i find myself disgutsing. i miss the feel of my spine and being able to see my ribs and hip bones. i miss the thigh gap, i feel disgusting without it. i feel happy when im lighter. i wish i could feel happy when im heavier. but i don’t. but kudos to all of those girls that feel confident with their figure.
fucking nearly started crying today in the mall when i realized how much weight i gained. so am changing it. three hours of rowing a day, another hour spent walking or cycling a day. only eat raw food. no sugar. no carbs. only gonna drink water or alcohol.
‘before he cheats-carrie underwood’,
i can see how this might come across as psychotic but i love this song. it’s amazing. can’t stop listening to it. carrie underwood is a babe.
limited money. either means i’ll have to chose between another date with lucy or a new set of nails. fml. sadness.
lost-katy perry,
one of her old songs. i really like it. it’s how i feel. nice and comfortable. sad, makes me want to cry.
the past few days i’ve been having panic and anxiety attack that last from 30minutes for about 3 hours. the only reason im not freaking out now is because im on painkillers. it’s fucking horrible. i just feel so angry and lonely, needy and anxious and sad at the same time.
the attacks are horrible. it feels like there’s a little netted bag over my heart, like the ones that oranges come in and it tightens every time my heart beats, my muscles around my chest and throat seize up, my heart gets into a cycle of irregular palpitations. i can feel my heart beat in my head it’s beating so heavily. my breathing becomes shallow. and im just weak and exhausted. i fucking hate it. it’s horrible.